Tuesday, June 06, 2006
The broken charity band I sold on Ebay
This crazy laptop guy. He copy me so much in this link ---> Laptop Guy
Hello. My name is Kevin ChickenFeet and I live in Bath. I am 19 but pretend to be a lot older and like to pretend I am a big eBusinessman when I'm not actually that clever. Do you like the picture of me I took with my webcam?
Recently I sold a charity band to a buyer on Ebay, proudly displaying the legend, "Make Wrist Bands History". although the buyer paid £375 within a few days, I waited 723 seconds before bothering to send it to the buyer. It turned out to a perfectly good band except for one thing - IT DIDN'T WORK. Let me explain.
The proclamation on the band asserts that it will make said charity bands history i.e. non-existant. It is a given assumption that the charity band itself should have been rendered non-existant on the basis of its own assertion. If this happens, then the band no longer exists and therefore, the assertion no longer exists, thereby creating an impossible paradox from which there is no escape. If the charity band subsequently winks back into existance, then the assertion returns and the band disappears again. Because of this inexorable cycle, we see the continuing proliferation of all other charity bands.
I claimed to have moved to Dubai and hoped he would forget about it but he didn't. He performed a DNA extraction from skin particles found on the band. He then processed his findings using Uncle Finbarr's Picto-Make machine. An ingenious device that extrapolates from the smallest sample of DNA, the last 300 pictures that the subject almost certainly took.
There was a lot of porn, like this...
And this...
What have we here...
Let this be a lesson to all, summed up I feel in this timely poem...
If you mess with paradoxical charity bands,
You're gonna have a heap o' trouble on your hands,
From someone with an unhealthy attraction,
To Deoxyribonuclei Acid Extraction.
Message to Kevin....
If you give the money to charity, I will publish an apology as well as that black and white picture of you looking really handsome on a camel. Or something. The choice is yours.
Hello. My name is Kevin ChickenFeet and I live in Bath. I am 19 but pretend to be a lot older and like to pretend I am a big eBusinessman when I'm not actually that clever. Do you like the picture of me I took with my webcam?Recently I sold a charity band to a buyer on Ebay, proudly displaying the legend, "Make Wrist Bands History". although the buyer paid £375 within a few days, I waited 723 seconds before bothering to send it to the buyer. It turned out to a perfectly good band except for one thing - IT DIDN'T WORK. Let me explain.
The proclamation on the band asserts that it will make said charity bands history i.e. non-existant. It is a given assumption that the charity band itself should have been rendered non-existant on the basis of its own assertion. If this happens, then the band no longer exists and therefore, the assertion no longer exists, thereby creating an impossible paradox from which there is no escape. If the charity band subsequently winks back into existance, then the assertion returns and the band disappears again. Because of this inexorable cycle, we see the continuing proliferation of all other charity bands.
I claimed to have moved to Dubai and hoped he would forget about it but he didn't. He performed a DNA extraction from skin particles found on the band. He then processed his findings using Uncle Finbarr's Picto-Make machine. An ingenious device that extrapolates from the smallest sample of DNA, the last 300 pictures that the subject almost certainly took.
There was a lot of porn, like this...
And this...
What have we here...
Let this be a lesson to all, summed up I feel in this timely poem...
If you mess with paradoxical charity bands,
You're gonna have a heap o' trouble on your hands,
From someone with an unhealthy attraction,
To Deoxyribonuclei Acid Extraction.
Message to Kevin....
If you give the money to charity, I will publish an apology as well as that black and white picture of you looking really handsome on a camel. Or something. The choice is yours.
# posted by Bradlaw Skimp @ 4:38 AM 
Comments:
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oooops, my computer went into meltdown for a second... all I saw was flying html text, I only pressed twice and look what happened....
Cheer Media_Lush. You are a legend. Glad you liked my version of events and thanks for your many many comments.
...my comments page has gone in to meltdown again and I can't access it....I'm testing just to see if it's my site or blogger in general...if you get this then it's my site....if you don't then I just typed to myself and am wondering if these little bytes of code are wandering around with no where to go....which is obviously not the case of you're reading them.... but if I was to copy and paste them elsewhere does that mean they're not really dead but just getting bigger in cyberspace wondering.... why hasn't he posted them yet....and so it goes in circles...
....well, there they went....so blogger is useless when comments get too much...much like my mother used to say!
hep hep!
hep hep!
Media_Lush, your comments are coming through loud and clear. Like a flock of doves made of out only the poshest and most expensive cat-food. Never give up!
I've added a picture to my nic....sort of, I'm the one to the right of the guy who threw the pie, when I say to the right....I kind of mean to the right of the person who saw the person who threw the pie...when I say to the right of that person, I mean I could have been on the left...when I say I could of been on the left I actually mean that I might not of been there...when I say I might not of been ther I actually mean...etc ....when I say etc I actually mean etc etc ...when I ......
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