Tuesday, June 06, 2006
The broken charity band I sold on Ebay
This crazy laptop guy. He copy me so much in this link ---> Laptop Guy
Hello. My name is Kevin ChickenFeet and I live in Bath. I am 19 but pretend to be a lot older and like to pretend I am a big eBusinessman when I'm not actually that clever. Do you like the picture of me I took with my webcam?
Recently I sold a charity band to a buyer on Ebay, proudly displaying the legend, "Make Wrist Bands History". although the buyer paid £375 within a few days, I waited 723 seconds before bothering to send it to the buyer. It turned out to a perfectly good band except for one thing - IT DIDN'T WORK. Let me explain.
The proclamation on the band asserts that it will make said charity bands history i.e. non-existant. It is a given assumption that the charity band itself should have been rendered non-existant on the basis of its own assertion. If this happens, then the band no longer exists and therefore, the assertion no longer exists, thereby creating an impossible paradox from which there is no escape. If the charity band subsequently winks back into existance, then the assertion returns and the band disappears again. Because of this inexorable cycle, we see the continuing proliferation of all other charity bands.
I claimed to have moved to Dubai and hoped he would forget about it but he didn't. He performed a DNA extraction from skin particles found on the band. He then processed his findings using Uncle Finbarr's Picto-Make machine. An ingenious device that extrapolates from the smallest sample of DNA, the last 300 pictures that the subject almost certainly took.
There was a lot of porn, like this...
And this...
What have we here...
Let this be a lesson to all, summed up I feel in this timely poem...
If you mess with paradoxical charity bands,
You're gonna have a heap o' trouble on your hands,
From someone with an unhealthy attraction,
To Deoxyribonuclei Acid Extraction.
Message to Kevin....
If you give the money to charity, I will publish an apology as well as that black and white picture of you looking really handsome on a camel. Or something. The choice is yours.
Hello. My name is Kevin ChickenFeet and I live in Bath. I am 19 but pretend to be a lot older and like to pretend I am a big eBusinessman when I'm not actually that clever. Do you like the picture of me I took with my webcam?Recently I sold a charity band to a buyer on Ebay, proudly displaying the legend, "Make Wrist Bands History". although the buyer paid £375 within a few days, I waited 723 seconds before bothering to send it to the buyer. It turned out to a perfectly good band except for one thing - IT DIDN'T WORK. Let me explain.
The proclamation on the band asserts that it will make said charity bands history i.e. non-existant. It is a given assumption that the charity band itself should have been rendered non-existant on the basis of its own assertion. If this happens, then the band no longer exists and therefore, the assertion no longer exists, thereby creating an impossible paradox from which there is no escape. If the charity band subsequently winks back into existance, then the assertion returns and the band disappears again. Because of this inexorable cycle, we see the continuing proliferation of all other charity bands.
I claimed to have moved to Dubai and hoped he would forget about it but he didn't. He performed a DNA extraction from skin particles found on the band. He then processed his findings using Uncle Finbarr's Picto-Make machine. An ingenious device that extrapolates from the smallest sample of DNA, the last 300 pictures that the subject almost certainly took.
There was a lot of porn, like this...
And this...
What have we here...
Let this be a lesson to all, summed up I feel in this timely poem...
If you mess with paradoxical charity bands,
You're gonna have a heap o' trouble on your hands,
From someone with an unhealthy attraction,
To Deoxyribonuclei Acid Extraction.
Message to Kevin....
If you give the money to charity, I will publish an apology as well as that black and white picture of you looking really handsome on a camel. Or something. The choice is yours.
# posted by Bradlaw Skimp @ 4:38 AM 
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Cheer Media_Lush. You are a legend. Glad you liked my version of events and thanks for your many many comments.
Media_Lush, your comments are coming through loud and clear. Like a flock of doves made of out only the poshest and most expensive cat-food. Never give up!
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