Skimpy Scrawlings

A sunbeam fell down from the sky
The apple of her father’s eye
A tiny angel with legs of oak
Arrived to bless us mortal folk

And thus the life of Jean began
Proudly begot of Vera and Stan
Their little daughter was so gracious
But her appetite alarming, and voracious

She ate with the gusto of a health pony
Pilchards, peas and pepperoni
Nothing escaped our little Jeanie
From leftover dog food to fettuccine

The siblings arrived, one by one
Helen, Philip then John and Joanne
She bathed us all in love and embraces
Feeding us biscuits and washing our faces

With Scamp and Paddy, Pip and Sam
In her warmth we all happily swam
And when down our faces, tears did stream
We’d always run to our Jean

But our little Jean is no ordinary girl
Amongst us swine, she is a pearl
There are no bounds to her love and compassion
Only our food she has attempted to ration

Never upset her while she’s grazing
She’ll turn on you with eyes a-blazing
And what can cause that halo to slip?
Having the temerity to pinch a chip

Throughout this life our Jean has shown
A tendency to be accident prone
An incident with a Bunsen burner
Left her looking a little like Tina Turner

She finally left the family bed
And went where angels fear to tread
With her dazzling smile and backpack full
Jean descended to the depths of Hull

She travelled wide, and we all missed her
Although often shadowed by her sister
The world is most certainly a better place
Blessed by Jean’s bi-lingual grace

Jean supports us, loves us and doesn’t judge
And never been known to hold a grudge
Knowing Jean is to be enriched
Which explains why Gary was so bewitched

Yes, the handsome Gary arrived on the scene
And it soon became obvious he was keen on Jean
It was also clear, the longer they dated
That Gary’s love was being reciprocated

But Gary was not the very first love
Of our beautiful cherub from above
Two came first before this elegant beau
Mr Smirnoff and Pinot Grigio

The stork flew by and it was no folly
That it dropped off Katie, then our Ollie
And in the eye of Jean, as ever fair
Was not an apple, but a perfect pair

A final thought for her proud father Stan
Whom the beautiful Jean made a happy man
A few this night may shed a quiet tear
But I have a feeling, he might just be here.


Written by Philip & John in celebration of Jean’s 50th Birthday on the 12th of November 2006.